Sometimes it’s the conversations with dear girlfriends that warrant the biggest epiphanies. I never realized we’d been waging the same battle, albeit different fields. It’s tonight that I take the strength I gained from both of our ah-ha’s and share a truth that’s been weighing on me heavily.
The topic of discussion was, as it is on many occasions, her relationship and whether she wanted to be in or out of it and also how it was affecting whether she was showing up fully for her higher calling. Simple enough, right? Because at first glance, either you’re showing up or you’re not. Then comes the sticky question of why aren’t I (because we wouldn’t have been having this conversation if she was, right?) showing up fully in what I KNOW to be my passionate purpose in life? See that little play on words? Not only has she not been showing up, but neither have I, and neither of us ever saw it for what it was…until that night.
She asked me as we were getting ready to wrap up our discussion for the evening…”I wonder what it would feel like if he just quit. Quit his job and then I’d have to be the sole provider. Then what?” Oh holy mother of God!!! I expected my stomach to drop into nauseous convulsions and breakout into a cold sweat having to contemplate that question. What happened next, the emotion that THAT one simple question elicited, is one I will not soon forget. Why? Because it evoked a MASSIVE sense of freedom. What? What’s that, you say? Yes, FREEDOM! Freedom to fully show up and do what I do best and provide an abundant life for my family doing what I am PASSIONATE about doing.
So why hadn’t I or she done it yet? Why hadn’t we stepped fully into the glory of all that we have the potential of becoming and just shine like mad…strong, bright, and beautiful? Because we were too busy pointing fingers. Staying safe. Settling for comfortable. Blaming “him” for not “letting” us move forward in our passion. Blaming his job choices, his lack of spiritual awareness, and the financial woes that we believed we had…and using that as our safety net so that we didn’t have to be vulnerable and risk failure, criticism, or….
— abundantly huge success!!!!
Talk about a gargantuan lesson on self-worth and the blame game…it was never about “him” and our purpose, but us and our own purposes and the blockages we had created for ourselves along the way.
Damn girlfriends, anyhow. lol Always making me cry…and really pushing me to get straight to the heart of the matter. Now…to work inch by inch to create that freedom and to create that change!
Let the next jaunt on the path begin…because there is nothing-
— absolutely positively nothing —
-more powerful or more dangerously, provocatively, and tantalizingly beautiful than a free heart and mind.