Expectation is a bitch. It’s one thing I’ve stuck to for quite awhile now, although it isn’t always the easiest to remember and put into practice. Ya know, releasing our expectations of ourselves, our feelings, other people’s behavior, their feelings, etc, etc…all those mentally outlined scenarios that SHOULD look a certain way and more often than not rarely do. It’s like a damn merry-go-round sometimes and not a fun one at that. All that “should-ing” on ourselves…yeesh. Yeah, that sure sounds like a dandy ‘ol time! Not!
I find it curious how stealthily this whole notion of expectation can bite you in the ass. Seriously, people. It’s like this insidious snake that just reels you in. In a couple of instances, I’ve found myself pondering where this relationship with my mom is going to go. Innocently enough, I was mentally debating how to bring up all those past behaviors that really stung. I had made the phone call. We are talking. In fact, we are talking a couple of times a week. Now what? There are a hurts to be mended and truck loads of apologies to be made. Or is there? That’s what twinged in my tummy this morning. Maybe, just maybe, if I can release the expectation of getting an apology and just accept that this is what happened regardless of her remorse and apology, or lack thereof, our relationship could be a lot simpler. Freer. Open. Loving. It almost feels like by expecting an apology, I’m holding her in some kind of space of “You did wrong and now you have to pay” which I do not like AT ALL. Simply allowing her to be who she is NOW, not dredging up the past unless it happens to naturally come up, and trusting that Universe helped bring us back together for a bigger purpose rather than rehashing wounds of old. THAT…that feels good. THAT…feels…easy. THAT…feels…like love.
“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” – Bruce Lee
I encourage you to try it. Give up on those expectations that make you feel stuck, wounded, or heavy. There’s no point really, at least from what I can see in my experience. The words that you’ve wanted to be said, the phone calls you’ve hoped to receive, the gestures you expected in return for your loving actions…toss the expectations aside and see what you get. See how you feel. See if you feel forward movement. Lighter. More empowered and strong within your Self. If it’s anything like me this morning, it made the sunrise seem like a whole new brand of spectacular.